Generally against my better judgement, I'm always ready to jump on the bandwagon. So its no surprise that after years of hearing about these things called "blogs" I have decided to join the fray. After all, who could be better suited to make commentary on newsie social issues (i.e anything that strikes my fancy), than someone who has not one, but two masters degrees. And really, what better time to get started on such an endeavor than after a weekend of binge eating, shameless consumerism and high school reunions? If the great masters of art and literature have shown us anything, it's that inspiration springs forth from commercialism and the kind of self-loathing that can only come from an evening of tryptophan-induced awkward mingling.
Yes, I liken myself to Rembrandt and Balzac. Yes, the word "mingling" sounds like a sexual maneuver that involves bamboo shoots. No, I did not attend my high school reunion (or was invited for that matter). However, if I did, believe me, I would be filled with the kind of self-loathing rivaled only by Mary Cheney. Although, I will maintain the assumption that not having a drug problem or eating disorder puts me ahead of most of my old peers both in intelligence and general emotional stability. So actually, when I say self-loathing, I really mean unbridled hubris.
That said, like a good upscale hooker, I don't want to give away too much too soon. Lest I satiate your hunger and loose my audience. But since I'm only proverbially fellating, I'll say, dear reader, not only have you the greatest intellect I've ever seen but i can do wonders with puns and have an extensive vocabulary. And by extensive I mean limited to the 1000 words I had to learn for my GRE.
Stay tuned for my next post as we explore why Mexicans make up my #1 fan base...
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